So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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