Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
