wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
