hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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