Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
The beer is more important than you right now.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
