dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
