I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
