...so i touched it.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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