tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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