Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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