We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
