we made out on top of his cat.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
