Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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