We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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