Non-Jews are for practice
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
