Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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