Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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