My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
