I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
My orgasm happened in two different decades
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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