She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
