I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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