i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
how drunk are you?
Several
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
