new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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