Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
