You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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