Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
