we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
