Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
