Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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