one two three fourrrrnication!
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I think your dad took our porno
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
