So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
