Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I just found a bag of teeth...
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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