Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I touched a dick in church today
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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