I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
did i just pee glitter
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
