it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
