Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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