Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
