even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
