She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Randomize
