you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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