your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
