so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
