I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Bring me that man meat
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
