I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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