at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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