I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
