Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
