Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
