you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
