STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
