I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
