We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
