remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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