Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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