I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
